NOTE: Lyrics in RED PRINT represent a spoken "unsolicited testimonial" as opposed to singing.
Lyrics:
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall and
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't get him a dime
But I could
Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch themselves a pail of water
They fell down and we sued everyone
Including the hill owner's daughter
If you are a nursery rhyme
And you're in trouble all the time
Wanna put your wife in a pumpkin rhine?
I can give you peace of mind
'Cause my service is one of a kind
I'm the Nursery Rhyme Lawyer
Little Miss Muffett sat on her tuffet
And then that spider came out to play
We served that arachnid with a restraining order
Now he must be at least two hundred yards away
Blackbirds baked in your pie?
Boy kissed you and made you cry?
Your cow jumpin' into the sky?
Crazy, thinkin' he could fly
Give my services a try
And see what a good boy am I
My ex-husband, that crooked old man, ran off with that floozy gardner, Mistress Mary, and left me with these twenty kids
living in a shoe. I didn't have any idea what to do. So, I called up the Nursery Rhyme Lawyer. In just one week, he
had found that miserable scum-bag of a man and had him paying child support. Huh! He can keep those cockle shells, I
got the money. We live in a boot now, and I have a summer sandle on the lake. Thank you Nursery Rhyme Lawyer!
When your cupboard is bare
I'm gonna be there
Dish ran away with your spoon
I'll get it back soon
If you've lost your sheep
There's no need to weep
Someone's stealin' your tarts
Don't let it break your heart
If your bridge is fallin' down
I'm gonna be around
When the bough breaks
I've got what it takes
You know who I am
I'm the Nursery Rhyme Lawyer
You know, I make my living jumping over candlesticks because I'm very nimble and quick. But, uh, one day I slipped on a
puddle of wax and I got burned pretty badly. I called the Nursery Rhyme Lawyer and he was able to get me workman's comp
in no time flat. Thank you Nursery Rhyme Laywer!
My little lamb followed me to school one day. Those mean boys and girls just laughed and laughed at him all day long.
So I called the Nursery Rhyme Lawyer and we filed defamation of character suits against them and I haven't heard so much
as a peep from them since. Thank you Nursery Rhyme Lawyer!
I got pushed off a wall and the Nursery Rhyme Lawyer got me $1.2 million. You know the story. Man, my brains is
scrambled . . .
If you have any e-mail regarding the Music Lyrics portion of Hotel XVR27, send it to either . . . .