New Math

Lyrics:

Some of you who have small children may have perhaps been put in the embarrassing position of being unable to do your child's arithmetic homework because of the current revolution in mathematics teaching known as the New Math. So as a public service here tonight, I thought I would offer a brief lesson in the New Math. Tonight, we're gonna cover subtraction.

This is the first room I've worked for a while that didn't have a blackboard, so we will have to make do with more primitive visual aids, as they say in the ed biz. Consider the following subtraction problem, which I will put up here: 342 minus 173. Now, remember how we used to do that: three from two is nine, carry the one, and if you're under thirty five or went to a private school you say seven from three is six, but if you're over thirty five and went to a public school you say eight from four is six. And carry the one, so you have one hundred and sixty nine. But in the new approach, as you know, the important thing is to understand what you're doing, rather than to get the right answer.

Here's how they do it now

You can't take three from two
Two is less than three
So you look at the four in the tens place
Now that's really four tens
So you make it three tens
Regroup, and you change a ten to ten ones
And you add 'em to the two and get twelve
And you take away three, that's nine
Is that clear

Now instead of four in the tens place
You've got three
'Cause you added one
That is to say, ten, to the two
But you can't take seven from three
So you look in the hundreds place

From the three you then use one
To make ten ones
And you know why four plus minus one plus ten is fourteen minus one
'Cause addition is commutative, right
And so you've got thirteen tens
And you take away seven
And that leaves five

Well, six actually
But the idea is the important thing

Now go back to the hundreds place
You're left with two
And you take away one from two
And that leaves

Everybody get one
Not bad for the first day

Hooray for New Math
New Math
It won't do you a bit of good to review math
It's so simple, so very simple
That only a child can do it

Now, that actually is not the answer that I had in mind
Because the book that I got this problem out of
Wants you to do it in base eight
But don't panic
Base eight is just like base ten really
If you're missing two fingers
Shall we have a go at it
Hang on

You can't take three from two
Two is less than three
So you look at the four in the eights place
Now that's really four eights
So you make it three eights
Regroup, and you change an eight to eight ones
And you add 'em to the two
And you get one-two base eight
Which is ten base ten
And you take away three, that's seven
Ok

Now instead of four in the eights place
You've got three
'Cause you added one
That is to say, eight, to the two
But you can't take seven from three
So you look at the sixty-fours

Sixty-four?
How did sixty-four get into it
I hear you cry
Well, sixty-four is eight squared, don't you see
Well, you ask a silly question, you get a silly answer

From the three you then use one
To make eight ones
You add those ones to the three
And you get one-three base eight
Or, in other words
In base ten you have eleven
And you take away seven
And seven from eleven is four
Now go back to the sixty-fours
You're left with two
And you take away one from two
And that leaves

Now, let's not always see the same hands
One, that's right
Whoever got one can stay after the show and clean the erasers

Hooray for New Math
New Math
It won't do you a bit of good to review math
It's so simple, so very simple
That only a child can do it

Come back tomorrow night
We're gonna do fractions

Y'know, I've often thought I'd like to write a mathematics textbook someday
Because I have a title that I know will sell a million copies
I'm gonna call it Tropic of Calculus



New Math is the tenth (10th) song on the That Was The Year That Was album and is the tenth (10th) song on disc three of the Remains Of Tom Lehrer album. It is an original song by Tom Lehrer.

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