Here are the rules to Brockian Ultra Cricket . . .
A full set of rules is so massively complicated that the only time they were all bound together in a single volume they underwent gravitational collapse and became a Black Hole. A brief summary, however, follows:Rule One: Grow at least three extra legs. You won't need them, but it keeps the crowds amused.
Rule Two: Find one extremely good Brockian Ultra Cricket Player. Clone him off a few times. This saves an enourmous amount of tedious selection and training.
Rule Three: Put your team and the opposing team in a large field and build a high wall around them. The reason for this is that, although the game is a major spectator sport, the frustration experienced by the audience at not actually being able to see what's going on leads them to imagine that it's a lot more exciting than it really is. A crowd that has just watched a rather humdrum game experiences far less life affirmation than a crowd that believes that it has just missed the most dramatic event on sporting history.
Rule Four: Throw lots of assorted items of sporting equipment over the walls for the players. Anything will do--cricket bats, basecube bats, tennis raquets, skis, anything you can get a good swing with.
Rule Five: The players should now lay about themselves for all they are worth with whatever they find to hand. Whenever a player scores a "hit" on another player, he should immediatly run away as fast as he can and apologize from a safe distance. Aplogies should be concise, sincere and, for maximum clarity and points, delivered through a megaphone.
Rule Six: The winning team shall be the first team that wins.